


think of me when you shoot your arrows

by deepbutdazzlingdarkness



Series: the thirst is real [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Desk Sex, Dirty Talk, Episode Related, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Office Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:56:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6613261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepbutdazzlingdarkness/pseuds/deepbutdazzlingdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Alec gets off thinking about Magnus and one time he doesn’t have to. </p><p>AKA a character study of Alec and his thirst throughout season 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. #1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait to post this until it was done, but once I actually started writing, it morphed into more than just PWP, so I figured I'd post as I go. I'm not sure how often I'm going to update, but the whole thing is outlined, it's just a matter of actually getting around to writing it! 
> 
> Quite a bit of my inspiration for this came from [this](http://deepbutdazzlingdarkness.tumblr.com/post/143042715789/please-tell-us-more-about-alec-thinking-about) tumblr post, and the title is of course a reference to [this](http://deepbutdazzlingdarkness.tumblr.com/post/142251418594/tinaliatum-matt-and-harry-share-their-favourite) amazing interview.

The first time it happened, Alec told himself it didn’t mean anything. 

In the wake of the disaster that was his encounter with the memory demon, Alec had stumbled home and gone straight to his room. He immediately placed several locking runes on the door, not wanting to take the chance that anyone (especially Izzy or Jace) would disturb him. Alec knew he was going to have to talk to Jace eventually, but he desperately wanted to avoid that conversation for as long as possible. Meanwhile Izzy would just try to reassure Alec yet again that everything was gonna be okay. He knew that was her way of trying to help, but it really wasn’t something he was in in the mood to hear.

Alec knew he’d fucked up big time: not only had he outed himself (after having spent _years_ vigilantly guarding that secret) and almost gotten Jace killed as a result, but because of him, Clary’s memories were now lost for good. And as much as Alec disliked the tiny redhead and all the chaos her sudden appearance had brought into their lives, she was the best chance they had to find the Mortal Cup. As the acting head of the Institute, he had a responsibility to the Clave he was currently failing at, and that wasn't something Izzy’s words of comfort could fix.

Without even bothering to remove his boots, Alec flopped face down onto his bed, his feet dangling off the edge. He tried to relax and clear his head, but that was easier said than done. Alec’s mind drifted aimlessly, and eventually he was reminded of what else had happened earlier: namely meeting Magnus Bane, the thought unexpectedly sending shivers down his spine.

In person, Magnus was much different than Alec had expected from the (admittedly vague) description they’d gotten from Hodge that morning. He hadn’t really gotten a good look at the warlock while they were at the rave, as Magnus disappeared through a portal almost immediately after Alec killed the rouge Shadowhunter that was after him. It wasn't until they’d tracked Magnus to his lair and Alec had helped Magnus take down the last of the would-be assassins that they’d officially met.

When Magnus walked over and introduced himself, it was like Alec lost control of all his senses. He couldn’t think, his heart was pounding, and an uncontrollable smile spread across his face before he even knew what was happening. Alec managed to blurt out his name in response to Magnus’s greeting, but after that he’d been reduced to babbling, unable to even put together a full sentence. He was sure he’d made a fool of himself, but Magnus just took it in stride, and in fact spent the rest of the evening flirting outrageously with Alec

Having someone show such immediate interest in him wasn’t something Alec was at all used to. Sure, he knew that objectively speaking he wasn’t a bad looking guy, and even if Alec didn’t quite believe it, Izzy was always going on about how much people love the whole “tall, dark, and handsome” thing, and telling him that he should take advantage of that (with the subtext being: to get himself laid, since she had a one-track mind). But whenever he and his siblings were out together, Jace and Izzy drew all the attention to themselves like moths to a flame, leaving Alec alone in the dark. And even when people did notice Alec, his abrasive personality tended to make him quite unapproachable anyway, though frankly that was just the way he liked it.

With Magnus, everything was different. Magnus definitely liked Izzy, if gifting her his priceless necklace was any indication, but he didn’t linger in her presence, and unlike most of the population, he didn’t seem to find Jace charming at all. Instead, Magnus focused all of his attention on Alec, which shocked Alec as much as it did Jace.

Meanwhile, something about Magnus made Alec’s walls come down and put a genuine smile on his face for the first time in a really long time. (Multiple smiles, actually; Alec still had a warm feeling in his chest from Magnus referring to him as “pretty boy”.) Despite the fact that they’d just met, Alec found himself drawn to Magnus in a way he’d never felt before.

Getting more comfortable, Alec kicked off his boots, and before he could overthink it, he reached for his nearby tablet and accessed the Institute's database, searching for "Magnus Bane". According to the information they had, Magnus's exact place and date of birth was unknown, but he was believed to be 300-400 years old. Quickly doing the math in his head, Alec estimated that meant Magnus had been born sometime in the 1600 or 1700s.

So Magnus must have been lying about having met Michelangelo, Alec chuckled to himself, before he remembered the exact context of Magnus’s namedropping. If Magnus hadn't actually slept with Michelangelo, why did he say that? And why did he look straight at Alec when he did? Was Magnus just trying to tell Alec (pretty blatantly) that he’s interested in men as well as women?

Feeling his cheeks turn red, Alec scrolled further down the screen, eventually coming upon a folder of pictures of Magnus with a variety of looks from different eras. Some were black and white photographs, some were in color, but in all of them, there was Magnus, looking exactly the same as he does now. Clicking through, Alec saw Magnus in Egypt, with the pyramids in the background, Magnus in front of a biplane wearing in a pilot’s uniform, and a bunch of images of Magnus dressed to the nines in formalwear before coming across some that looked much more recent.

These pictures seemed to be taken inside Pandemonium, and Magnus was dressed accordingly, with his blue-streaked hair spiked up tall and lots of eyeliner on. Then Alec looked further down and his mind went blank, as all he could register was “Oh my god, so much skin.” Magnus was wearing a blazer with what looked like a red silk button-down shirt underneath, though he’d evidently decided to ignore the fact that it even had buttons. His shirt gaped open, exposing a large swath of Magnus’s chest and abs, covered only by a few necklaces dangling from his neck. Magnus sat in the middle of a couch like it was his throne, surrounded by a group of men and woman with even more skin on display than him, looking powerful and (the thought came to mind before Alec could help himself) incredibly sexy.

Then, just when Alec thought his brain was starting to come back online, he clicked to the next picture and almost choked on his own tongue. In this one, Magnus was still on the couch, but he had a shirtless guy straddling his lap and licking his neck, a look of intense pleasure on Magnus’s face. Magnus had the fingers of one hand laced through the guy’s dark hair, holding him close, the other hand possessively grabbing his ass. In a daze, his heart pounding, Alec caught a glimpse at one more picture, showing the two men making out, before blindly closing his tablet and tossing it onto his bedside table.

Of all the things Alec expected to maybe find when researching Magnus, he never thought something like this would even be in the realm of possibility. (And how the Institute had gotten these pictures or why they had decided to keep them on file, Alec had no idea, but he decided to ignore that for now.) Like, yeah Alec knew theoretically that Magnus was attracted to and therefore had sex with men, but he definitely hadn’t been prepared to actually see evidence of that with his own two eyes.

After a minute or so of processing this, Alec realized that all of the blood in his body seemed to have rushed straight down to his groin, making his jeans uncomfortably tight. Almost without thinking, he sat up and unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down to his thighs and hissing in relief as he freed his cock. 

Looking down at his erection, Alec considered his options. He didn't masturbate very often, largely because Jace was practically the only person he ever thought about in this way, and he already felt guilty enough having feelings for his (male) parabatai without adding a sexual element to it. Sure, sometimes Alec succumbed in moments of weakness, but it was always difficult to look Jace in the eyes in the next day. As such, whenever he got aroused, Alec just took a cold shower while thinking about what would happen if his parents and/or the Clave discovered how he felt about Jace; it was a foolproof combination that worked every time. 

But now…what did Alec have to lose? Shadowhunters didn’t really interact much with warlocks (unless they needed their services) even in times of peace, and with Magnus in hiding from Valentine, it was unlikely that they were going to see each other again anytime soon, so there wasn’t much chance of an awkward morning after situation. And really, Alec rationalized to himself, he barely knew Magnus at all, so it would basically just be like jerking off to porn, right? (Which…wasn't something Alec did either, but still.) 

Before he could change his mind, Alec reached inside his boxers and wrapped his hand loosely around his cock, gently stroking himself. Closing his eyes, Alec thought about Magnus, wondering what might have happened after those pictures were taken. Clearly Magnus knew what he was doing when it came to sex, and judging by the display he’d given the camera, he wasn’t private about it either.

Maybe they would have continued to make out on that couch in the middle of Pandemonium, not caring who might see them dry humping like a pair of teenagers. Then, before they got too far, maybe Magnus would’ve dragged his companion to a dark corner and told him to suck his cock, the man eagerly getting on his knees before Magnus even finished speaking. Tightening the grip on his own cock, Alec pictured Magnus’s eyes glinting in the haze of the club, watching heavy-lidded as he was engulfed in warm, wet heat, clutching dark hair and letting himself be taken over the edge by a skilled tongue.

Afterwards, Magnus would help him up and undo his pants, his hand finding a neglected erection in need of attention, Magnus pulling on his cock with smooth hands, telling him all the things he wanted to do to him eventually as he got closer and closer to ecstasy. By this point, Alec was fucking his fist, callused fingers contributing to the delicious sense of friction he was feeling. Thumbing over his slit, he imagined Magnus whispering, “Come for me, Alec,” in his ear and with a sharp intake of breath, Alec was done for, streams of come covering his hand and splattering all over his shirt, which he’d never gotten around to taking off.

After taking a few minutes to recover and catch his breath, Alec methodically stripped, burying his clothes at the bottom of his hamper for when he’d have time to wash the stains out of them, and crawled back into bed, hoping as he fell asleep that this would be enough to get Magnus out of his system.


	2. #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, a lot of the stuff in this chapter was [inspired](http://deepbutdazzlingdarkness.tumblr.com/post/143286846114/innanzituttoticalmi-amorverus-magnus-bane) by [magalima](http://archiveofourown.org/users/magalima/pseuds/magalima), so thank youu! 
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if this is actually going to come up in the story, but FYI I tend to headcanon Alec as being at least 24-25, so just keep that in mind I guess.

The next few days passed in a blur. Between his parents’ return to New York, dealing with Clary and the growing rift between him and Jace, Alec had barely had a moment to himself to think, let alone do _that_ again.

Now that the dust had settled a bit, Alec was able to sit back and take stock of all the events that had transpired since then. It had been a crazy roller coaster ride of a week, in that basically every positive thing (or relatively positive thing) that happened was immediately followed by something equally bad or aggravating for Alec to deal with. 

The most obvious example of this was how Alec and Clary had just returned to the Institute, having finally secured the Mortal Cup. It was a major victory that should take at least some of the pressure off of Alec’s shoulders, but he hadn’t even gotten a minute to relish their success before his eyes were forced to witness Jace and Clary doing some celebrating of their own in the form of a make out session in the middle of the command center. Alec couldn’t take seeing more than a few seconds of that, and ignoring Izzy’s sympathetic gaze, he stalked off to his room.

Alec wasn’t exactly sure where he stood with Jace at the moment. When he’d finally summoned the courage to broach the subject of the memory demon, their talk had gone…well? Jace seemed to not understand the motivation behind Alec’s freak-out that night (though he was the only one, as Magnus, Izzy, and even Clary had figured it out right away) so he was either genuinely oblivious or a really good liar, and Alec didn’t know which option he preferred.

Jace had also reassured Alec that he loved him back (a statement that made Alec’s heart stop for a minute, despite knowing that Jace didn’t mean it that way), yet he continued to side with Clary and prioritize her over everything else. It was ironic; Alec had spent so long just assuming that his sexuality would be the thing that ultimately came between him and Jace that he’d never even considered the possibility that it would actually be another person who did that. But then Clary showed up, and all of Alec’s preconceived notions went out the window.

Alec still flinched when he thought about how angry Jace had been about him losing Clary, as if Jace hadn’t learned by now that Clary was reckless and headstrong and constantly rushed into things without thinking about the consequences. And although Jace seemed to have thawed a bit after he had shown up to help heal Luke, that hurt wasn’t something Alec could just get over in a day or two, especially now that Jace and Clary’s relationship had apparently progressed from longing glances to kissing.

After that display, all Alec wanted to do was go to bed and sleep for a week, but the stamina rune he’d applied earlier hadn’t yet worn off, so he changed into sweatpants and headed back to the training room to try and wear himself out. It was late enough that he’d probably be left alone to stew in his thoughts, and at least it was a productive way to let off steam, which he definitely needed to do.

If whatever was going on with him and Jace wasn’t bad enough, his parents were back in town. They always brought an increased level of stress into Alec’s life that had been hard enough to manage before Clary showed up, but now was almost unbearable. No matter how old Alec got and how much he had accomplished, whenever he stood in front of Maryse and Robert he always reverted into that same insecure, eager to please son, constantly seeking their approval and yet hardly ever getting it.

Jace and Izzy had never cared much about what their parents would think of their actions and just did what they wanted without asking for permission. Meanwhile, as the oldest, Alec was always tasked with picking up their slack. He was the responsible one, who followed every rule and did so gladly, under the assumption that one day it would pay off. And now that Alec was finally at the point where it _had_ , where he was the acting head of the Institute (at least whenever his parents were in Idris, which was most of the time these days), everything was going to shit and he had to suffer the majority of the consequences for it.

When Alec found his mother _crying_ the other day (the _last_ thing in his life he’d ever expected to see) and told her that he would do whatever needed to be done to help restore the Lightwood name, he had never even considered the idea that he’d end up being pimped out by his own parents as a result. Alec had lived his whole life by the book, working constantly to become the best Shadowhunter possible, and it was eye-opening to a disturbing degree to find out that after everything, _that_ was all his parents thought he was good for, that he was a _thing_ to be used as a bargaining chip. At the reminder, Alec hit the punching bag he’d been pummeling even harder.

His parents forcing him to get married would be bad enough if Alec were actually interested in women, but him being gay makes the whole situation immeasurably worse. And though Alec has never been sure what his parents might know about that, if they did have any suspicions about his sexuality, it would add a whole other fucked up layer to their machinations that Alec didn’t even want to consider at the moment.

In any case, finding out their plans for him had been the last straw, and it sent a spark of rebellion straight through Alec that he couldn’t ignore. As soon as he said screw the rules, Alec knew immediately where he wanted to be and had quickly changed and made his way straight to Brooklyn (to Magnus). Alec told Clary afterwards that he hadn’t come to help heal Luke for Jace, which was the truth. In fact, Jace hadn’t crossed his mind at all in the moment; he just realized there was someone (well, two someones) who needed his help and that it was the right thing to do.

Alec hadn’t known yet at that point why Magnus asked for him, and he still had no idea what his own emotions were doing, just that he felt a _pull_ there, something inexplicable and confusing and scary, yet undeniable. God, Alec couldn’t consider his interactions with Magnus a good thing or a bad thing; they were in a category all on their own. And…Alec knew what was gonna happen if he continued down this line of thinking for much longer, so he decided to head back to his room before there was an awkward public boner situation to deal with.

Getting into the shower, Alec remembered how shocked he’d been when Magnus called him the other day, in part because he didn't know how Magnus had gotten his number (although based on how he'd seen Magnus and Izzy whispering together, Alec had a feeling his sister was involved) and in part because he hadn't thought Magnus was actually interested in him. He’d been so caught off guard by Magnus calling him _Alexander_ and asking him out that he’d agreed without even stopping to think. Though Clary had taken Alec’s momentary distraction as an opportunity to get the drop on him, then she and Simon got kidnapped (again), but surprisingly, he and Magnus ended up having that drink after all.

Alec had thought it would be awkward to see Magnus again, given what he'd done the night they met, but surprisingly that wasn't the case at all. Of course, there hadn't been much time for thinking when Alec got to the apartment and saw Magnus about to fall over, overwhelmed by the amount of magic he was exerting trying to save Luke. Alec instinctively rushed over to steady him, freely offering his hand and letting Magnus siphon off the strength he needed to keep going. Supporting Magnus's weight, Alec closed his eyes and warm tendrils of magic spread from their connected hands up his arm and through his body, tugging underneath his skin like a phantom itch. 

They could have been entwined like that for a minute or an hour, for all Alec knew, but eventually he felt the glow of Magnus's magic dissipate and opened his eyes to see Clary smiling down at an awake and coherent Luke. Apparently at some point Jace and Simon had also arrived, but seeing Magnus collapsed against his chest, looking drained, all Alec had been able to focus on was making sure he was okay. 

Once Luke was settled into Magnus's bedroom, Alec had busied himself by tending to the mess left in the wake of the impromptu healing. He’d picked up all the books that had been shaken off of Magnus’s shelves and was starting to clean Luke’s blood off of the couch when Magnus appeared, offering him a drink. Alec didn’t really drink that often, except for wine occasionally with dinner, but he figured he deserved it after the day he had. After one sip, Alec discovered that he really didn’t like the taste of vodka, so he just held onto his drink while he and Magnus talked.

And what a talk it was. Alec didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say? He certainly understood Magnus’s sentiment, as Magnus seemed to have unlocked something in him too (though in Alec's case, it was more like a faucet had been turned on inside of him that constantly spewed out all these unfamiliar and unexpected thoughts and feelings). But the idea that _Alec_ was the person to make Magnus start to feel again after 100 years? An insecure, closeted Shadowhunter who'd never even kissed anyone, let alone been in relationship before? How could Alec possibly live up to the weight of the expectations Magnus would surely have? Not to mention the fact that Alec now had this arranged marriage bullshit to consider.

He'd been saved from having to answer when Maryse called, wondering where Alec was and demanding he get back to the Institute as soon as possible to get started on all of the paperwork that had piled up while Alec was off leading unsanctioned missions and blah blah blah he'd already gotten used to hearing that rant so he’d just quickly agreed and hung up. Alec turned back, ready to make his excuses and head home, but when Magnus cut him off, holding a finger up to his mouth (so close to Alec's lips yet not quite touching him), and suggested he stay for just one more drink, Alec couldn't resist.

Really, it was a no-brainer. He didn't want to be around his parents at the moment, and he _did_ want to be around Magnus, of _course_ he did, despite his claim to Magnus that he didn’t know why he’d come. One more drink turned into three more drinks (though the subsequent ones seemed much less alcoholic, or at least Magnus had done a better job of disguising the taste for him) and Alec had found himself pleasantly buzzed, not drunk in a sloppy way, but enough that Magnus insisted he spend the night and make his way home in the morning.

When Izzy caught Alec doing the walk of shame, she’d teased him and Alec insisted that all Magnus did was make cocktails. And that was true: after Alec had decided to stay, the weighty mood that had followed Magnus’s confession was forgotten and they’d spent the rest of the night talking. Magnus regaled Alec with tales of his escapades throughout history and for the most part, Alec just listened, watching Magnus’s lips move and his arms gesture expressively, intoxicated both on the alcohol and just on Magnus’s presence in general. But just because nothing more than that had happened didn’t mean that Alec hadn’t _wanted_ more.

Leaning his head against the wall of his shower, rinsing his hair, Alec touched his mouth, wondering what might’ve transpired if Magnus _hadn’t_ respected his personal space. If Magnus had actually put his finger to Alec’s lips to shut him up. Maybe Magnus would have traced Alec’s bottom lip with his thumb, cradling his chin in his hand, gently stroking his fingers across Alec’s jawline…

After a minute of contemplating this, Alec realized that a) the water had run cold and b) he was definitely hard now. Getting out of the shower, he quickly dried off and went back out to his room, not bothering to get dressed, knowing what he was planning on doing. Alec could've written off one time as a mistake, a fluke, but this...this was deliberate and there was no coming back from it. Alec had been attracted to Magnus (on a superficial level at the very least) ever since they'd met, but now that he was actually getting to know the man, his desire had been turned up an exponential degree, and he couldn’t find it in him to even try to resist.

Crawling into bed, Alec laid back and got comfortable, closing his eyes and thinking about how gorgeous and _different_ Magnus had looked the night before. When they’d first met, Magnus had been so much more…clothed, and he’d been dressed in all black, so seeing Magnus wearing some flimsy red and gold sparkly see-through (?!) tunic had been a shock to his senses that he was still recovering from.

It had a low-cut neck that drew Alec’s eyes straight to that wide expanse of Magnus’s chest (though it didn’t show off quite as much as he’d seen in those pictures he’d jerked off to before, but it was close), and just thinking about how that red shirt contrasted with Magnus’s tanned skin had Alec straining in his hand, his cock becoming slick with pre-come. He thought back to what he’d been fantasizing about in the shower and brought his other hand up to his face, running his fingers across his lips before sucking them into his mouth, getting them wet.

In retrospect, it had probably been a good thing Alec drank as much as he did, because otherwise he didn’t know how he would’ve been able to spend all that time so close to such a scantily-clad Magnus without getting visibly aroused. As it was, Alec had spent much of the night aroused anyway, staring at all of Magnus’s skin that was visible through the sheer fabric, wondering how easy it would be to rip it off (Alec figured he could probably do it one-handed) and what Magnus’s reaction would’ve be if he had. (He isn’t sure how Magnus would feel about Alec ruining his clothes, but he likes to imagine he’d appreciate Alec’s enthusiasm).

At one point, Magnus had bent over to hand him another drink, allowing Alec to see all. the way. down. his. shirt. It hadn’t been a perfect angle, but it was enough to incapacitate Alec for a good 30 seconds. He’d been lucky that during that time, Magnus was turned around making a new drink for himself, so he’d thankfully had enough time to regain rational thought before Magnus noticed what was going on.

Removing his fingers from his mouth, Alec trailed wet fingertips down his torso, circling his nipples and releasing a soft groan, before continuing downward and grasping his erection more firmly with both hands. In his mind, he pictured Magnus crawling shirtless towards him, loose blonde-tipped hair falling in his face as he leaned down to kiss Alec.

After a moment, Alec took charge, flipping Magnus onto his back and attaching his mouth to Magnus’s neck, licking and sucking marks into the smooth skin there as he moaned, wrapping his limbs tightly around Alec. He clutched Alec’s ass, grinding their cocks together, and when Magnus reached down between his cheeks and let one blunt finger toy with his asshole, emitting sparks of magic right against the sensitive skin there, Alec found himself coming with a shout, thankfully managing to control himself before he said Magnus’s name.

Grabbing the towel he’d used to dry off earlier, Alec cleaned himself up and sighed agreeably. His stamina rune had finally sputtered out, leaving Alec exhausted enough to be able to drift off to sleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, all of his worries temporarily forgotten.


	3. #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time! I'm not sure when the next one is going to be up, as it's definitely going to take longer to write, but maybe by this weekend?

Heart still pounding from his workout, Alec closed his eyes and leaned into the spray of the shower, hot water doing a good job of relaxing his muscles, if not his mind. So many thoughts swirled in his head after the day he'd had, but at the moment all he could focus on was Magnus. That Magnus was _there_ , at the Institute, and that not five minutes earlier he'd been standing right in front of Alec looking like he wanted to eat him alive. 

Alec had been caught totally off-guard when Lydia told him she was calling Magnus to consult on the case. She hadn’t even had a chance to mention Magnus by name before Alec’s uncensored thoughts started tumbling out of his mouth like he'd been hit with a truth spell and couldn't control himself. God, _Magnus is quite magical_ , what was he even thinking? He _wasn't_ thinking, that's what.

Alec was well-practiced in hiding his emotions, as he had to do so around Izzy, Jace, his parents, etc. on a regular basis, but with Lydia he'd been completely unprepared to talk about Magnus and his façade slipped embarrassingly quickly. However, Alec’s awkwardness had quickly been replaced by anger at the reminder of his parents being lying hypocrites, and by the time Magnus showed up, Alec had almost forgotten he was coming.

In an interesting twist, this time Alec had been the one half naked, and unlike him, Magnus had no problem expressing his obvious appreciation of Alec’s shirtless torso both verbally and non-verbally. Alec had practically _felt_ the scorch of Magnus’s eyes burning holes into him as he raked his eyes up and down Alec’s heaving chest and abs, and he hoped that Magnus would attribute his increasingly red face to all the time Alec had spent walloping that punching bag, rather than him blushing at the attention. Not that Alec hadn’t liked the attention though, he admitted to himself. He easily could’ve zipped up his hoodie, but he chose not to, partly because he didn’t have enough energy and partly because it felt good to be desired in such an obviously sexual way.

What felt even better was that Magnus seemed to genuinely care about what Alec was saying. He didn’t try to explain away or invalidate Alec’s feelings like Lydia had (well-meaning as she may have been) and he wasn’t pushy like Alec knew Izzy would be in a similar situation. Instead Magnus just listened to Alec vent and then offered him advice. Though really, “do what’s in your heart”? Alec had spent more than a decade quashing his natural impulses in that arena at every turn, so he had no idea what that might entail or where possibly to begin.

Of course, while Alec might not be very in tune with what his _heart_ was telling him, he’d been hyper-aware of what the rest of his body had wanted ever since he’d first met Magnus, and the more time Alec spent with him the harder it was becoming to resist those urges. For example, on his way out of the training room, Alec had unthinkingly blurted out that he needed to go take a shower, leaving the door wide open for Magnus to immediately respond with a smirk and a wink, "Well, if you need someone to wash your back, I'll be around." 

And by the Angel, for a few seconds Alec had actually considered taking him up on it! Despite the fact that they were at the Institute and that Lydia and his parents would only be a few doors down. Not to mention the likelihood that Magnus probably hadn’t been serious anyway. Alec had only managed to hold onto his self-restraint by sheer force of will, in that he’d hustled out of the room so quickly that he almost tripped down the steps in his rush to leave.

As he soaped up his hands, Alec let himself imagine what could’ve already been happening if Magnus was in there with him. Alec’s shower was barely big enough for one person; to fit two in there they’d probably have to be all pressed up against each other, naked, and wet, and fuck, Alec could barely handle seeing slivers of Magnus’s chest, the thought of all that bare skin had him hard in an instant.

Alec wrapped one hand around the base of his erection, pumping it a few times, while the other hand lazily trailed up and down his torso, following the path that Magnus had made with his eyes. He remembered how Magnus seemed to have paid special attention to his chest, and it occurred to Alec that with their height difference, Magnus would barely even need to lean down to put his mouth on it. Alec rubbed his thumb across each of his nipples, imagining it was Magnus’s tongue, licking or maybe sucking right _there_ , before pinching one, groaning and feeling the sensation it caused travel straight to his cock.

Back braced against wet tiles, Alec jerked off with quick, firm strokes, wishing it were Magnus’s manicured fingers he was thrusting into. He closed his eyes and pictured it: Magnus straddling Alec’s thigh, hand gripped tight around both of their cocks, standing so close that Alec couldn’t even see what he was doing. Magnus rubbing their chests together as he moved, sinking his teeth into the junction of Alec’s shoulder and neck as Alec laced his fingers through Magnus’s wet hair, holding him even closer.

Tilting his head back, Alec soon felt his orgasm hit, letting out a strangled moan mostly muffled by the hand he’d clapped over his mouth just in time. Alec slowly rinsed off, watching soap and come mingle as they circled down the drain. He knew he’d have to get out of the shower and go bring Magnus’s findings to his parents and Lydia eventually, but that could wait a few more minutes. For now, Alec simply wanted to savor his fantasy for a little bit longer and secretly hope that one day he’d be courageous enough to try and make it come true.


	4. #4

After the fifth time, sixth time…tenth time, Alec stopped keeping track and just accepted that he was attracted to Magnus. A lot. By the Angel, he was a fully-grown adult and yet thanks to Magnus, Alec was turning into the horny teenager that he'd never been even while going through puberty. And thankfully, since he'd also been working out much more than usual, Alec at least had an excuse for all the extra showers he'd been taking.

However, despite all the extensive fantasies Alec had entertained about him and Magnus over the past couple weeks, he'd never gone as far as to actually imagine the two of them having sex. Clearly, in the grand scheme of things, that being where Alec drew his metaphorical line in the sand was kind of arbitrary; it wasn't like he was ever gonna be able to do anything less than full-on intercourse with Magnus either, but for whatever reason, he just couldn't bring himself to go there. Or at least Alec hadn't been able to until after he went to visit Magnus the night before Izzy's trial.

When Izzy suggested that Magnus act as her defense attorney, Alec knew it was against Clave rules, and given their last encounter, he hadn't been sure Magnus would say yes to a request from him even if it were allowed. Still, Alec would do anything to help his sister, so off he went. (And if a part of Alec was happy Izzy had given him an excuse to see Magnus again, he kept that to himself.)

Alec had been so relieved about Magnus finding an apparent loophole that he didn't even stop to think before asking Magnus what he wanted for his help. At this point, Alec should really be used to Magnus's innuendos, and yeah he'd gotten to the point where he could basically just roll his eyes and try not to smile, but Alec definitely didn't expect Magnus to straight up tell him he wants to have sex with him. Sure, it was a joke (though not one accompanied by the twinkling eyes and smile that Magnus usually flirts with, and Alec didn't want to dwell on why that might be), but underneath his bitterness it was obviously the truth.

In any case, Magnus managed to come up with something else Alec could offer him. Given how quickly he’d decided on Alec's bow and quiver, that had probably been his plan all along, and thus Magnus presumably only said what he did to Alec to get under his skin. And it worked on both counts. Even though Alec had hated the thought of parting with one of his most prized possessions, it was a price he was willing to pay if it meant saving his sister's life, and Magnus also had succeeded in knocking down Alec's mental block about them sleeping together.

Given the severity of the charges Izzy had been facing, Alec managed to put any thoughts of “pro bono” work on hold until the trial was over. But now that she was off the hook and Magnus had actually let Alec keep his bow, it was like he’d had a huge weight lifted off of him and was able to just relax for a moment, brief as it might be. Sure, tomorrow was one day closer to the day he and Lydia would be getting married (because they _did_ have to, no matter how much everyone was trying to convince him otherwise) but Alec couldn't resist taking at least one night to think about what it would be like to have sex with Magnus.

And even if his words alone hadn't been enough to inspire Alec to do so, seeing Magnus in his somewhat understated lawyer attire definitely would've put him over the top, because holy shit. Alec liked everything he'd seen Magnus wear so far (that bright blue silky shirt he had on the night before would surely haunt Alec's dreams), but something about Magnus with his normal hair and makeup in a three-piece suit spoke to Alec on a level he had not been expecting.

Magnus filled out a suit _so_ well and more than any of his other ensembles, it just _screamed_ , “Undress me.” When Alec went to tell Izzy the good news and saw Magnus in just his vest and shirtsleeves he thought that was bad enough, but then he'd followed Magnus out of the room to conclude their business and the sight of Magnus's ass in dress pants was almost enough to make him come on the spot. Fortunately, Magnus had put his waistcoat back on before Alec did anything embarrassing, but that was something that couldn't be unseen. (Not that Alec wanted to unsee it anyway.) 

Once he was in his bedroom for the night, Alec drew several locking and soundless runes on the door in preparation and got undressed, taking out the lube he'd…acquired the other day (aka stolen, though he left money for it on the counter of the corner store) and hid in his sock drawer.

Lying down on his bed, Alec wondered what exactly Magnus had meant when he'd propositioned him. Did the phrasing “I'll do you,” imply that Magnus specifically wanted himself to be the one doing the fucking and Alec to be the one getting fucked? Or was it just a more general “I want to fuck you” sentiment that left room for interpretation? 

Alec didn't know how Magnus had intended his comment to be taken or if Magnus personally had a preference for what he liked to do in bed, but either way, all he could think about now was how much he wanted Magnus to fuck him. If he was being honest, he'd wanted that all along, but seeing Magnus's strength and power in standing up to the Clave on their own territory, knowing how they feel about Downworlders, had struck a chord in Alec that he couldn't explain.

Alec closed his eyes and thought about what might've happened if he’d accepted Magnus's initial terms. (Of course, Magnus likely wouldn't have let him go through with it even if he had agreed, but Alec ignored that for the sake of his fantasy.) Since Magnus didn't expect payment until after his services were no longer required, Alec imagined a scenario where rather than going off to fetch Alec's bow from the weapons cabinet, Magnus told Izzy to go ahead and let them finish up their business in the office. 

Once they were alone, Magnus said, “I'm sure you don't want to risk me getting caught in your bedroom, so what do you say we take a portal back to my loft?” 

“You're right,” Alec answered, “But um, no…let's just stay here.”

At this, Magnus raised an eyebrow. “ _Here_ , here? As in your office? You don't even want to do it in a bed? Why, Alec, you're much more adventurous than I thought you'd be.” In reality, Alec was no such thing (or at least he didn't think he was), he just figured it would be easier to control himself and not get caught up in emotions if he knew there were other people around.

Alec saw Magnus checking out the office, presumably trying to figure out which flat surface would be best for what they had planned. “Let's see,” he mused, “Depending on what you want to do, we have the wall, the couch, the desk…” At the last option, Alec looked away, and Magnus got a glint in his eye. “You like that idea, hmm? You want me to bend you over and fuck you right on the desk there?”

Alec felt his cheeks get hot at the thought of Magnus saying something so vulgar, but at the same time, the blood rushing down to his cock in both his fantasy and reality meant he couldn't deny how turned on he was. As he began to stroke himself, Alec continued down that rabbit hole, imagining that upon his embarrassed nod of agreement, Magnus pushed him up against that desk, hand reaching into his pants and feeling how hard he was.

After a particularly enthusiastic moan, Magnus extracted his hand and smirked, apparently very satisfied with himself. When Alec tried to get him to keep going, Magnus swatted his hand away, telling Alec that if he insisted on having sex here at the Institute, he needed to put up some kind of soundproofing wards. “Unless of course you _want_ everyone to hear you take it up the ass?”

Such directness almost made him choke on his tongue, but Alec couldn’t disagree, so he let Magnus work his magic. After a minute, Magnus turned back to Alec, asking, “Where were we?” To both of their surprise, Alec grabbed him and kissed him. “That's not where we were, but I certainly won't complain about this development, darling,” Magnus said afterwards.

“I…I want you to fuck me,” Alec mumbled into Magnus's ear when they pulled apart. “Please?”

“Well, if you insist,” Magnus grinned. Having switched positions, he leaned back on the desk, rolling up his sleeves and loosening his tie. Alec felt his mouth get dry as Magnus slowly started to expose his forearms and neck to the open air. Looking further down, Alec noticed that Magnus was hard too, and he unconsciously licked his lips at the sight of the erection straining against his trouser pants. 

“Mmm, I like where your mind is headed,” Magnus remarked upon seeing where Alec’s eyes were fixated, “But much as I would _love_ to have you on your knees, I feel like we should probably save that for another time, okay?” Alec knew there wouldn’t be another time, but he agreed.

Right away, Magnus started to undress Alec, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders, stroking his hands appreciatively over Alec’s bare chest. He did the same thing with Alec’s pants, pushing them down to his thighs, and took a good look at Alec’s cock before turning him around onto the desk with his back to Magnus.

Alec had done a bit of “research” already, so he knew in theory what sex entailed, but he still tensed a bit, not used to being on display like that. Magnus ran a hand across Alec’s shoulders and down his spine, encouraging him to relax, and it did help a bit. Turning his head to see what Magnus was going to do next, Alec watched him snap his fingers and a bottle of lube appeared.

While Alec was picturing this in his head, he opened his own bottle of lube and poured a generous amount on his fingers, as everything he’d looked up online emphasized the importance of that very strongly. Spreading his legs, Alec reached down and started to ease one finger inside himself, wincing a bit at the feeling. He continued very slowly, eventually feeling comfortable enough to try and explore a bit.

When he curled his finger just right and it rubbed a spot inside him that he figured must be his prostate, Alec arched his back and let out a loud moan; thankful he’d had the foresight to prepare for that possibility. After that, he got into the groove of things better and was able to stop concentrating so hard. The last thing that crossed Alec’s mind before he went back to fantasizing about Magnus was “Why haven’t I done this before?!” 

Alec was bent over the desk, head down, bracing himself with his elbows up by his ears while Magnus fucked into him with three fingers, working at a leisurely pace that had him gasping and squirming for more. After what felt like forever, Magnus unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down just enough to free his erection. Alec heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and Magnus exhaling a bit as he slicked lube onto him and finally, _finally_ he felt Magnus press up against his ass. 

The blunt head of Magnus's cock teasingly slid through the slippery mess of lube between Alec’s legs, until Magnus eventually thrust into him, hard but shallowly. Alec moaned, still needing more, and he tried to push Magnus deeper on his own, but Magnus put both hands on his hips, holding him tight so he couldn’t move.

Magnus stood still for a moment, his cock barely inside Alec, and just when Alec felt like he was going to die of sexual frustration, Magnus started really fucking him, hard. Alec’s cock was trapped between his stomach and the desk, and with every roll of Magnus’s hips, it rubbed up against the smooth wood underneath him, though not enough to let him come. There wasn’t room for Alec to reach his hand down and touch himself, so all he could do was lie there and take it, feeling Magnus’s cock push in and out of him, hearing the wet thrusts and feeling the pressure of hands on his body.

Eventually, Magnus leaned down, pressing flush against Alec’s back and legs, changing the angle so he could get even deeper. The feeling of Magnus’s almost completely clothed body wrapped around his practically naked one was surprisingly arousing for Alec, and his fingers scrabbled for purchase as Magnus fucked him into the desk. Magnus clearly had lots of experience, and when he expertly thrust right into Alec’s prostate three times in a row, Alec found himself coming untouched, moaning loudly and so overcome with pleasure that he swore he blacked out for a moment.

When he came to, Alec was alone once more in his bed, come covering his stomach, his fingers still inside him. He was so spent that he could barely reach for the tissues on his bedside table to try and clean up a bit before he fell asleep, for once not thinking about all the usual pressures and responsibilities he would have to deal with again in the morning.


	5. #5

The last time it happened before the wedding, it really was an accident. Or at least, for once Alec only had his subconscious to blame.

After his encounter with Magnus at the loft, Alec found himself stumbling home in a daze, overwhelmed by everything Magnus had said and everything he’d said to Magnus. He had gone over there expecting…Alec didn’t know what, but spilling his guts definitely hadn’t been the plan.

Of course, Alec knew Magnus had had an ulterior motive in inviting him over, and even as he was making his departure from Clary he knew his excuse sounded weak, but he couldn’t help himself, he’d wanted to see Magnus again. Despite all of his conflicting and confusing feelings for the man, there was a connection between the two of them that Alec couldn’t resist.

However, once Alec got there, Magnus didn’t bother with the flirting and innuendo that he usually employed. Instead, he chose to start hammering Alec with uncomfortable truths almost immediately. He’d just kept pushing and pushing until finally Alec burst.

Alec had never opened up to anyone about being gay: Izzy’d figured it out on her own while they were still teenagers and she did her best to be supportive (though her brand of support typically involved suggestive comments and asides about sex), but when he could barely acknowledge that truth to himself, he definitely wasn’t going to be talking about it with her.

But with Magnus…Magnus was the first person Alec had ever met who openly admitted to being attracted to members of the same sex. It was part of why Alec had felt so comfortable around him so quickly. _Finally_ there was someone who could understand what he was going through, had presumably gone through it himself at some point.

At that thought, Alec cringed. He’d told Magnus “You don’t get it,” but of _course_ he did. Even if Magnus didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d ever cared about his own reputation, he’d lived through much more intolerant times and had probably seen plenty of people who really _had_ lost everything. In comparison, Alec’s dilemma was almost embarrassingly minor.

It had only taken Alec a moment to reflect on what he’d said and immediately regret it, but by the time he turned around to apologize, Magnus had…vanished? Could warlocks teleport? Make themselves invisible? Alec didn’t know, and he looked around to see where Magnus could’ve gone (…maybe taking a moment to linger in Magnus’s bedroom), but he soon left, feeling uncomfortable hanging around the loft without its owner there.

Once Alec finally got back to the Institute, he didn’t even bother getting undressed; he just fell into bed exhausted, asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. 

Alec was back in Magnus’s apartment, and Magnus had just asked him if he was in love with Lydia. But while Alec was trying to come up with an answer that wasn’t an immediate “Fuck, no,” Magnus cut in—

“Okay, let’s forget about love for a minute, how about sex?”

“Sex?” Alec squeaked. 

“Yeah…sex.” Magnus repeated, the look on his face a mix between amusement and exasperation. “Banging, fucking, making love, whichever term you prefer,” he continued, waving his hand dismissively, “Surely you know that ‘solid partnership’ or not, you’re gonna be expected to consummate this marriage, right?”

“I...uh...” 

“I mean, how long do you think it’s gonna take before your parents start pressuring you guys to start popping out kids? After all, isn’t that why Shadowhunters usually get married at such a young age, so they have as much time as possible to help repopulate your _oh so superior_ race before their inevitable demise at the hands of one demon or another? By that metric you two are already way behind the curve, given your…somewhat advanced ages, so I give you maybe six months tops.

“And what do you think Lydia is going to expect? She may have agreed to this as part of a business arrangement, and maybe she doesn’t expect to ever fall in love either, but do you really think she’s gonna be satisfied with a sexless marriage for the rest of her life? I mean, honestly, look at you. If I were Lydia, I'd never let you out of my bed, so have fun coming up with excuses to try and get out of that.” 

Finally, it seemed like Magnus was done with his impromptu speech, as he downed his wine while Alec just stood there, thunderstruck.

Turning around to grab the glass of wine he’d refused a few minutes ago, Alec realized that somehow, truth be told, he actually…hadn’t thought much about that aspect of marriage. He’d made the decision to propose so quickly that the idea of having to sleep with Lydia as a result had never even crossed his mind at the time. 

Alec had already resigned himself to a life without sex; had done so ever since he first realized he was attracted to men and only men. Sure, if he really wanted to, he could go out and find some random guy to hook up with that he’d never see again, but Alec had a feeling that would make him feel even worse. Some people were built for casual sex and that was fine, he just wasn’t one of them.

Once Alec was married, he knew he'd respect his wedding vows and would never cheat, so he figured if it hadn’t happened yet, it never would, and he was fine with that. Mostly. After all, he didn’t know what he was missing, right? But Lydia had been married already, so clearly she wasn’t a virgin…was Magnus correct, would she really expect sex from him eventually? Did she want kids herself? God, what was he doing?!

Absently, Alec noticed that his wine was gone and needing more to drink, he reached for the nearest decanter of alcohol and was about to pick it up when—

“Helping yourself now, are we?” Magnus inquired amusedly from behind him. Startled, Alec dropped his wine glass and it shattered into tiny pieces on the floor. He bent down to start picking them up, but before he could, he heard Magnus snap his fingers and the mess disappeared.

Alec looked up, and to his surprise saw…concern on Magnus’s face? “Are you alright, darling?” You’re shaking.” All trace of the sarcasm and amusement from a minute ago was gone from Magnus’s voice; instead he spoke in a soothing manner, eyes soft.

Straightening up, Alec realized that he _was_ shaking, his hands were wobbly and he was glad he’d only broken an empty glass, not a whole container of Magnus’s presumably expensive alcohol. 

“Why don’t you sit down for a minute?” Magnus continued, trying to start leading Alec over to the couch. 

Shrugging Magnus’s hand off his shoulder, Alec shook his head. “No…no I’m not okay. What am I doing with my life? I mean, I like Lydia, and I'm sure she’s better than whoever my parents’ choice would’ve been. But love?” he chuckled bitterly, “Yeah that’s never gonna happen.”

“You’re right, that’s not fair to her. And me? I…I’ve never even kissed anyone before and I suppose if I liked girls I could adjust to this situation one day but I _don’t._ But it doesn’t matter, because I have to marry her anyway, I _have_ to, I fucked things up so _I_ have to be the one to fix them even if—”

All of a sudden, Magnus’s warm lips were pressed against his own, cutting off Alec’s mindless babbling and swallowing whatever he’d been about to say. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it left Alec speechless. “There, now you’ve been kissed at least,” Magnus said gently, a small smile on his face.

Magnus was apparently still talking, but Alec couldn’t hear anything over his heart pounding in his chest and all he wanted to do was feel Magnus’s lips again. Before he could second-guess himself, Alec leaned down and kissed him right on the mouth, hands clutching at the lapels of Magnus’s shirt. 

Magnus responded right away, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist and drawing them closer together. They kept kissing until Alec got a bit breathless and had to stop for a moment. Before Magnus could say anything else though, Alec went back in, opening his mouth to let their tongues brush together, the unfamiliar feeling sending sparks throughout his body.

They kept making out for a few minutes, and when they finally pulled apart, Magnus smiled up at Alec even harder. “Why Alec, I’m impressed. I didn’t know you had that in you.” He still had his hands on Alec’s hips, thumbs under the waistband of his boxer briefs, rubbing circles into the soft skin there.

Alec was already hard, cock bulging inside his jeans that were suddenly much tighter than normal, and he swayed closer to Magnus, trying to brush up against him and relieve the tension he was feeling.

Without warning, Alec felt the warmth of Magnus’s body heat disappear and he shivered a bit as Magnus dragged him over to the nearby brick column and pushed him up against it. He brought his hand back down to Alec’s waist, undoing the fly and reaching inside his underwear to grasp his hard length.

Meanwhile, Magnus wrapped his other hand around the back of Alec’s head and kissed him again, Alec groaning into it. Trailing his lips across Alec’s neck and jawline, Magnus eventually brought his mouth up to Alec’s ear, whispering, “What, no protests? No, ‘I’m getting married, we shouldn’t do this’?”

“I…I don’t want to think about that right now, I just want you.”

“Happy to oblige,” Magnus smirked. “If you really are marrying Lydia, I suppose I can give you a nice memory to help get you through those occasions where you’re gonna have to lie back and think of Idris.”

Alec had a response to that comment, he did, but then Magnus was on his knees, pulling down the zipper of his jeans with his _teeth_ , and before he knew it, Magnus’s mouth was on him, sucking lightly at the tip of his erection.

Wide-eyed, Alec watched his cock disappear inside the circle of Magnus’s plush lips and he knew if he kept looking he’d come embarrassingly quickly, so he quickly closed his eyes and leaned his head against the pillar, willing himself to last longer than five seconds.

Magnus ran his tongue up and down Alec’s cock teasingly before slowly engulfing the whole length with his mouth, steadying himself by holding tight to Alec’s hips. All Alec could do was stand still, blood rushing in his ears and hands clutching into fists at his sides as he tried to not do something drastic like push Magnus’s head down. 

Apparently warlocks needed to breathe too, or at least Magnus needed a break, because after a little while, he pulled off and replaced his mouth with a hand, saying “You know, Alec, if you want to, you _are_ allowed to touch me.” He laced the fingers of his unoccupied hand with one of Alec’s and brought it towards him. 

Opening his eyes, Alec caressed Magnus’s cheekbones before moving down to rub his thumb across overly red lips, wet with spit and pre-come, before tangling both of his hands in Magnus’s dark hair, piled at the top of his head.

When Alec ran his nails along the surprisingly soft shorter buzzed sides of Magnus’s hair, Magnus almost purred, saying, “Mmm, that’s it, keep going,” and put his mouth back on Alec, sucking harder than he had before, moaning himself as Alec continued to stroke his hair. He didn’t pull on or grip onto it (though that was a thought for another time – not that there would be another time, Alec reminded himself), he just gently played with it.

After another minute or so, Magnus swallowed around Alec’s cock, staring straight up at Alec with bright yellow cat-eyes as he did so, and Alec came with a loud moan, banging his head against the brick surface behind him, not even noticing the pain it caused, just surprised he’d managed to hold on for so long—

At that, Alec woke abruptly, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of come cooling inside his jeans, which in reality were still on. He knew he should probably take them off, because they’d probably be even harder to remove in the morning once the come dried, but he just couldn’t bring himself to muster up the energy. 

Instead, Alec sighed and buried his face into his pillow. Usually orgasms (and especially orgasms caused by Magnus) helped make him feel better, but not tonight. He was well and truly fucked. _And not in the fun way_ , a voice that sounded a lot like Izzy added unhelpfully as he drifted off back to sleep, dreading his wedding more than he’d ever admitted to himself before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an angsty outing this time, but not to worry, the last chapter will be all happy fluffy times. :)


	6. +1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is finally done! Thank you to everyone who's read it and liked it and left such lovely comments, and I hope y'all find the ending satifying! Enjoy. :)

Alec had assumed (or at least hoped) that after he and Magnus got together, he’d finally have a chance to relieve the sexual frustration that had been building inside him for weeks and weeks. So when he was still facing this issue after more than an additional month, Alec found himself turning into a desperate horny mess.

Seeing the happiness on Clary and Luke’s faces when Jocelyn woke up had inspired Alec to not let his worries about Magnus’s immortality get in the way of them pursing a relationship. He liked Magnus and wanted to get to know him better, and that was it. So after the two grueling weeks everyone spent searching for Jace and then convincing him to come home, Magnus and Alec eventually had their first official date, and since then they’d gone on quite a few more (both formal and informal) in between Alec’s normal Shadowhunter duties.

More often than not, dates ended with them at Magnus’s apartment, making out on his couch, up against the wall, and on one memorable occasion, the kitchen table. Over time, their make out sessions got more and more intense, but they never turned explicitly sexual. Of course there were wandering hands: Magnus was usually fixated on Alec’s chest, and Alec loved sliding his hand up Magnus’s shirt to feel the muscles of his back flexing, sometimes managing to get in a good grope of his ass while he was at it (though alas, always over the pants). But to his endless agony, whenever they got to the point where Alec thought they might _actually_ get naked, Magnus managed to pull away and suggest it was probably time for him to head home. 

Alec knew he'd masturbated quite a bit _before_ they started dating, but that was nothing compared to what he was dealing with now. He’d been resorting to cold showers just to give himself a break, and he had so much pent up energy that people were starting to notice. (When Izzy made one of her usual snarky comments about how much Alec would benefit from getting laid, he’d snapped, “I’m trying,” without thinking and then turned bright red while she just laughed her head off.)

In any case, Alec was determined that the next time would be _the_ time. Maybe not for them to go all the way, but at least for them to go _somewhere_. So when they hit a night with a relatively low level of demon activity, he took the opportunity to duck out early, heading to Brooklyn with Jace’s goodbye line of “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” ringing in his ears.

He hadn’t necessarily planned on jumping straight to the topic of sex immediately upon his arrival, but when Magnus answered the door dressed in nothing but a pair of silky red pants, Alec really couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. Within no time at all, he’d propelled them over to the couch, shedding his jacket and shoes along the way and pulling Magnus onto his lap, kissing him eagerly.

After a minute or so, Magnus pulled away from Alec’s lips with a smile and, “Hello to you, too Alexander. Aren’t you enthusiastic tonight.”

“My parents are in Idris for the weekend, I…I'd like to spend the night. If that’s okay with you?” he asked tentatively. Alec thought Magnus had been holding back for his sake, but what if that wasn’t the case?

“Of course it’s okay, darling, but are you sure you’re ready?”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Alec said in a rush. “This is all I’ve been thinking about for _weeks_.” Relieved, he moved his hands down to Magnus’s ass, settling his boyfriend more firmly on his lap and grinding their crotches together.

“Thinking about… _naked_?” Magnus grinned as Alec felt both of them starting to get hard. 

“What. do you. think?” Alec asked between kisses. “You’ve been driving me _crazy_.” He then moved his mouth to the juncture between Magnus’s neck and jaw, a spot he’d discovered a few weeks ago that seemed to be especially erogenous,

“So, is this a new development?” Magnus inquired innocently.

“Um, no,” Alec mumbled into his neck. “It's kind of been happening since we first met.”

“Oh _really_?” asked Magnus, arching an eyebrow. “So you mean to tell me that the whole time you were going around pretending to be the _perfect_ little rule-following Shadowhunter, you were also secretly laying in bed at night touching yourself and thinking about me? How flattering,” he smiled. “And to think, at that point I wasn't even sure if you were interested.”

“I was. I _am_ ,” Alec swiftly corrected, so turned on that he didn’t even stop to blush at Magnus’s correct assumption. “I want you all the time, I want you so badly I can hardly think straight.”

Magnus reached down and stroked his erection through the denim. “How about a demonstration then, babe?”

“I…what, no, I want _you_ ,” Alec moaned, trying to push up into Magnus’s hand.

“There’s plenty of time for that later, but now I want you to show me just how _much_ you want me.” At Magnus’s suggestion, Alec felt his cheeks finally start to get hot, but it also sent a thrill of excitement through his veins; the idea apparently appealed to him more than he expected it to. And maybe it would help take the edge off…otherwise who knew how long he might last?

“Yeah, le-let’s do that,” Alec nodded breathlessly, removing his hands from Magnus just long enough to take off his t-shirt, happy he hadn’t gone for something with buttons today. Their naked chests brushed against each other and Alec couldn’t get enough of the feeling of all that bare skin pressed together.

They got distracted making out for a few minutes, but when Alec slid his hand down the back of Magnus’s pants, discovering to his delight that there wasn’t anything else underneath, Magnus pulled away, saying, “Oh, no you don’t,” and climbed off of Alec.

“What…where are you going?” he objected, missing the weight of Magnus’s body on top of him.

“Time to get to the show, gorgeous,” Magnus reminded him, snapping his fingers and relaxing into one of his armchairs that suddenly appeared closer to the couch, “Now are you gonna take those pants off or what?

Alec got up to make it easier for him to do so, quickly unbuttoning his fly and easing the jeans off of his hips, discarding them somewhere on the floor. He stood there for a moment in just his black boxer briefs, flushing a bit at Magnus’s admiring stare, before sitting back down, legs wide.

“What now?” Alec asked, not sure where to begin.

“It’s up to you, Alexander,” Magnus responded, pursing his lips. “Just do whatever you usually do when you’re alone. Show me what you like.”

Almost automatically, Alec slipped a hand into his underwear and tugged at his cock, gasping at the sensation. Alec could feel Magnus watching him and got even harder, spreading pre-come along his throbbing erection. His other hand rested on his abdomen, roaming over the hard muscles there before wandering up to his chest.

Ever since that time in the shower, Alec had spent lots of time exploring how sensitive his nipples were and he pinched hard at one, letting his eyes drift closed as he released a loud moan and thrust into his hand instinctively. He then stuck two fingers in his mouth and sucked noisily, opening his eyes to see Magnus looking at him with a hungry expression on his face. Alec smiled and ran spit-slick fingertips across his nipples, moaning Magnus’s name as he became more and more aroused.

“Magnus, I _need_ you,” Alec gasped as he pulled his cock out of his briefs and put himself fully on display, starting to lose control and pump erratically,

“I think you’re doing just fine on your own,” purred Magnus, not taking his eyes off Alec. “Now tell me, darling, what else have you done with your hands?”

Alec’s mouth dropped open at the question, blood rising in his cheeks as his boyfriend continued, “How far have you gotten in your fantasies? Do you fuck yourself on those fingers wishing they were my cock?” Alec couldn’t bring himself to answer verbally, but he found himself nodding.

“Good to know,” Magnus smirked. “There’s something to explore next time. But for now…look at me,” he commanded.

Alec opened his eyes again to see Magnus lazily stroking his own erection through the thin layer of his pants, pre-come darkening the silky fabric. When he managed to tear his gaze away from the hottest thing he’d ever seen, they locked eyes, hazel meeting the yellow of Magnus’s un-glamoured warlock mark, and that was all Alec needed to come, spilling all over his hand and torso. 

Before Alec even realized it, Magnus was next to him on the couch, rubbing at his abs with a wet rag that he’d conjured up from who knows where.

“You...you don’t have to do that,” Alec said once he was able to speak again, still panting heavily.

“Oh, believe me, it’s my _pleasure_ ,” Magnus reassured him, bringing the washcloth down to Alec’s still twitching cock and wiping up the mess he’d made.

“But what about you? Don’t you want to come too?” Alec said slyly, squirming and trying to get his limbs to move so he could finally get a hand on Magnus’s cock.

“Patience, my dear,” Magnus smiled. “We have the whole night, after all.” Finished with his ministrations, he snapped his fingers and Alec’s underwear was clean as well. “Now, would you like something to eat? If I know you, you probably haven’t eaten all day.”

Alec tried to protest, but his growling stomach gave him away, so he conceded, “Sure, although I don’t think I can move just yet.”

“That’s alright, if not I can always feed you myself,” Magnus winked, going off to the kitchen to grab something from the fridge, which apparently hadn’t gotten much use before Alec started hanging out at the loft, but was always well-stocked now.

Smiling to himself, Alec settled down into the couch, sated and happy. One self-induced (well, mostly self-induced) orgasm definitely wouldn’t be enough to make up for his _months_ of suffering, but it was a good start, and he couldn’t wait to see what else tonight would bring.

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments and kudos, and if you'd like, follow me on [tumblr](http://deepbutdazzlingdarkness.tumblr.com/)!


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